Jessica Simpson Is Stress Eating Right Now

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As is the case in all of her relationships, when Jessica Simpson was dating Tony Romo, she told anybody who would listen that she had found her “soul mate” and hinted that marriage was inevitable. Then Tony Romo dumped her ass two days before her birthday. Two months later, Romo started dating former Miss Missouri, Candice Crawford (sister of Gossip Girl star and prancing gaywad Chace Crawford). They are now engaged. Us Magazine reports:

Another ex-beau of Jessica Simpson has chosen his bride! Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is engaged to Candice Crawford, his rep confirms to exclusively. Dating since September 2009, Romo, 30, proposed to Crawford in Dallas on Thursday, her 24th birthday.

On the brightside, Candice Crawford is skinny and has actually won something without her daddy having to pay everyone off first, but unlike with Jessica Simpson, Han Solo can’t take Romo’s lightsaber and split open her stomach to keep Romo warm from the coldness of his 4-9 record. But as a sidenote, blondes aren’t really my thing. And blondes really aren’t my thing when they look EXACTLY like their brother in a wig and lipgloss. When I downloaded this picture, I actually had to double check that the file name didn’t include the words “Priscilla” or “desert.”