Brad Garrett is a Big Dick
I know a lot of you will disagree with me on this, but not everybody loves Everybody Loves Raymond. I loved Ray Romano when he was a cartoon on Dr. Katz. I didn’t love Ray’s TV show. I blame Brad Garrett. His voice is like hearing a fork scraping on plates while you’re underwater and stoned, and it’s not funny. He’s a giant, and not a lovable one. Andre the Giant was a lovable giant. Brad is not.
That all leads to this – Brad, The Unlovable Giant, dressed in look-at-me clothes and went to one of those “L.A. hotspot” photo-op type restaurants with some rent-a-ho under his wing. Brad made a giant ass of himself, tried to act tough, but ended up being all talk, no action. Scratch that. There was action. He did kill someone’s camera. When asked for comment the camera’s mother said, “I am sad my son wasted his life on Brad Garrett, but I am happy knowing his memory stick’s life was full of more memorable stars, such as Alf, the stereo salesman from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and Matt Dillon’s mutant brother – the one on Entourage.”