The Internet Reacted to the New Star Wars Trailer and It Wasn’t Very Funny

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As is customary for any major media announcement or release, the internet (or at the very least, Twitter) rallies together in order to coordinate a mass telling of shit jokes, shit puns and even shittier PhotoShopped images. When the second trailer for the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens was unveiled yesterday as part of the Star Wars Celebration, things were no different.

Also See: Watch the New ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Trailer

The event, which you can watch below in its entirety if you find yourself with seven hours to spare, served as the Holy Grail for people who wanted to boost their number of Twitter followers by way of obvious jokes (“Han Solo’s old! LOL!”) and – sigh – references to Jar Jar Binks.

So let’s take a look at the various hilarious quips that made their way online and rate them on their effectiveness. Because what’s more asinine than making Jar Jar jokes on Twitter? Judging them on a scale of 1 – 5, of course!

 

Joke #1

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You can sense that Ed hasn’t really put the effort in here. Not only is this not an image from any Star Wars movie, with it instead being a JPEG nabbed from the Star Wars Wookieepedia (no, that isn’t a tired quip of my own, but the Star Wars Wiki’s actual name), but unlike many of his peers he hasn’t even bothered to PhotoShop Jar Jar into a still from the actual trailer. This is an exceptionally poor effort.

Rating:C3PO1

 

Joke #2

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With the Harry Potter film series having been concluded, it seems that the Potter character parody accounts such as @_Snape_ here are reliant upon the release of other major blockbuster films in order to give them inspiration for their shit tweets. Rather than forcibly insert Harry, Hermione, Ron or Voldemort into a still image from the trailer, Professor Snape has instead decided to simply paste lightsabers into the hands of Hogwarts Gryffindor students. The tweet makes no sense whatsoever, but it has over 3,000 combined retweets and favorites, so Snape must be doing something right with his Twitter #brand.

Rating:C3PO2

 

 

Joke #3

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Listen, Dave. Jar Jar lived in Gunga City. Gunga City is completely underwater. Now while it’s been confirmed that the desert planet shown in the Star Wars trailers isn’t Tatooine, I highly doubt it’s where Jar Jar was laid to rest, unless he emigrated in his later years and decided that the best destination would be a planet mostly devoid of water, which seems a little fucking unlikely given that Gungans love water so much that they built an entire city that was SURROUNDED BY IT. I can’t see that happening myself, so no, this probably isn’t the location of Jar Jar’s grave, and this tweet is so contrived it verges upon offense. 

Rating:C3PO1

 

Joke #4

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Stop it.

Rating:C3PO1

 

Joke #5

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Why would Obama and Joe Biden bemoan the absence of Jar Jar Binks in a Star Wars trailer? No one knows, but combining politics with pop culture, no matter how incongruous the pairing may be, is a fast track to success and Bucky Isotope (if that is his real name) clearly recognizes this. Though his attempt on satire may be wholly nonsensical, the real problem with this tweet lies in the amount of ellipses he has employed. There are no less than FIVE ELLIPSES in this tweet, two more than the required amount. That is unforgivable.

Rating:C3PO1

 

So What Have We Learnt?

We have learnt that when Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens eventually releases, Twitter will become a veritable wasteland of humor, so we should probably all delete our social media accounts now while we still have the chance.