5 Ways To Boost Your Libido By The End of the Day (And Save Humanity In The Process)
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Forget oysters and raw chocolate, the real way to boost your libido is by reconnecting with your inner animal. So what’s the fastest way to get there? And does the future of humanity even have room for our primal side, or is tomorrow’s Noah’s ark all about zeros and ones?
A trending report called Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation? is claiming that young people are having less sex than ever before, suggesting technology and globalization are the major libido killers responsible for the decline. Creationists may be rejoicing at the prospect of sex (a modern symbol of pleasure) returning to its fabled roots as a tool for survival. For the rest of us, one thing is clear: if we want to keep the appendages of mankind erect above the rising tide of globalization, we are going to have to take a long hard look at the issue.
Until then, here are five ways to boost your libido by the end of the day (and save us from our robotic overlords).
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Get Your Head Out of the Cloud
Less than a generation ago, there were no supercomputers that fit snugly in our pockets. The digital realm was rudimentary and barren. Now the world is literally in the palm of our hands and we can do most of our living there. Before we know it, WiFi will fit snugly in our cortex, making us walking supercomputers so globally interconnected via neural-link we won’t even need our hands! Fun right?
In the meantime, try limiting the number of hours spent staring into the black mirror. Go out for a walk, join an adult softball league, feel the air on your face, smell the flowers, learn to tap dance, do whatever you can to reconnect with the physical world. The limbic system (aka the lizard brain where most of our impulses live) knows exactly what to do if we let it. And research shows that 20 minutes of physical exertion will give you more command of your body. Your mojo will be working in no time.
Fix Your Clock
If existence is an infinite multiverse, then there is a version of you right now who is chilling in the dark. It’s hard to believe that civilization up until the last century basically lived without electricity. Living in darkness forced a connection with the natural world that maintained the biological order of things. Now we live in a world where night is irrelevant, where you can connect 24/7 to any corner of the globe. This perpetual connection has hijacked our circadian rhythm and uncalibrated our biological clocks.
Try dedicating just half a day every week to unplug and party like it’s 1999 (BCE). Get into a regular sleep cycle by ditching your phone before bed and running through the day's events in your mind in total darkness. This will reset your clock and awaken your primal urges, or your smartphone back, guaranteed.
Kill Your Dating App
Sure, one day we’ll procreate online using advanced computer code, but for now, let’s stick to the basics. Dating apps make the process of finding a mate 100 percent impersonal and isolationist. It’s like putting a square peg into a round hole. Humans just weren’t built for it, and neither are computers, as demonstrated by Buridan's Principle, which states, “A discrete decision based upon an input having a continuous range of values cannot be made within a bounded length of time.” In other words, given the choice between a never-ending stream of different girls acting as equal signal inputs, your brain will likely stall, sinking down into a river of endless variety.
Courting is not about living in a bubble and choosing your potential mate through a survey and a digital approximation of their image. It’s about putting yourself out there, locking eyes with someone from across the room, seeing the way they move, breathing in the smell of their neck as you lean in to talk to them. It’s about magnetism and electricity and all the things that can’t be felt via a computer screen.
Of course there are ups and downs to finding a mate in the real world, and not every outing will be a win, but that challenge harkens back to our preternatural state and stimulates our lizard brain. Trust that when it clicks, your inner animal will be yelling: "Libido bingo!"
Skin Like A Human
Research shows that people who spend a portion of their day going skin-to-skin with another human being actually live longer. A bond forms when two bodies connect that our cells thrive on. Even if it’s non-sexual, spending 10 minutes a day leaning against a friend will get your cells talking. And when cells talk, they get ideas.
Before our dermis is replaced by a synthetic casing and our nerves are repurposed to serve the great cloud of neural globalization, take advantage of your biggest sex organ and share some skin.
Play For Keeps
Social media is incredible, and the ability to connect with so many walks of life from the comfort of our own bedroom is nothing short of a miracle. However, nothing compares to the connection two people can make while getting social in the same bedroom. Sometimes awakening the animal inside is just a matter of finding the right partner—someone you can trust, who gets you and allows you to explore the primal side of yourself.
It’s not sexy to say, but trust and comfort are actually the biggest turn-ons. Developing a relationship with your special someone—in the here and now—will pay libidinous dividends. And just like landing a triple axel, the more you practice the better you’ll get!
Okay, so maybe some of these tips will take more than a day to boost your libido, but you can still get it done before the Singularity hits. Start now and you may even be the Governor of Libidotown come Valentine’s Day.