10 Effortless Changes to Make Yourself A Better, More Likable Man in the New Year
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You might think being likable benefits everyone else, but that’s not so. When it comes down to it, these changes you’re making help you become the best version of yourself. What sort of narcissistic jerk doesn’t want to be their best self? Not you. That’s why you’re reading this. When people like you, they want to help you, and who couldn’t use a little extra help every now and again?
New Year’s tips: Advice From Self-Help Pros On Making Changes That Stick
Show Genuine Interest in Others
Hi! Are you alive? If so (and we hope you are if you're reading this), this is the most basic part of making human connections. This sounds like a no-brainer, but when you're not really interested, people can tell.
If you're trying to win favor with someone but are focused on everything else, they'll notice. Seriously, don't be a self-centered jerk. Making connections is about deeply caring what another person says, thinks, and feels. They'll be inspired to behave towards you similarly.
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Stop Talking and Listen
Pro tip: the easiest way to seem like you're listening is to stop talking and practice active listening. Mind Tools defines active listening as making "a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message being communicated."
The only way to truly do this is to focus your entire attention on the person talking so that you can absorb the message they're trying to convey. This level of empathy creates an exchange of energy between two people that makes both parties not only feel heard but understood, which can accelerate intimacy between the two.
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Ditch Digital Devices
Nothing says, "I don't respect your time" like taking out a smartphone when someone else is talking. If you want people to respond to you differently, show them that the things they have to say are important enough that your phone never comes out during a conversation. If you find that you struggle with this, you might want to look into getting help for your digital device addiction.
While you're at it, you might want to start living in the now. There's literally nothing happening on your phone that's more important than what's happening in your real life.
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Keep Your Word
Even if you're Peter Banning (aka Peter Pan) in Steven Spielberg's 1991 film Hook, you shouldn't say, "Your word is your bond," or anything like it, if you don't mean it.
Having a sense of honor and keeping your word signals to people that you're a person they can trust. It's not a sleazy sales technique. If you make promises you can't keep, people will realize you're full of it and they won't like or help you. In fact, the opposite will happen.
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People Mirror Your Behavior, So Act Accordingly
The reason The Golden Rule reigns supreme is because it reminds us to check our entitlement. The reason we teach, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” to small children is because it's the most basic way to display respect.
There's no reason you should treat people as though they're beneath you. If this is the case, you need to check your privilege, but you don't have to argue with us. You're the one reading an article about how to be more likable. People already like us because we apply the Golden Rule.
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Rise and shine: 5 Hacks To Master Being A Morning Person
Over the years, have you developed any killer tricks that make you seem more charming? Let us know in the comments!