10 Funny-Because-It’s-True Ways To Know If You Weren’t The Coolest As A Kid

Photo: Universal Pictures

We can’t all be all things, right? But why, oh why, was it so easy to be uncool when we were kids? There’s a number of tell signs, ‘funny because it’s true’ ways, to know if you weren’t exactly the coolest kid when you were little. Typically, it had a lot to do with the amount of change in your pocket at the start of the day and the condition of your underwear at the end.

When it comes to being one of the “cool kids” or simply not getting bullied by the big kids, some of us went to great lengths to make our childhood as painless as possible. Sadly, the toys you have, the bike you ride and the clothes you wear can skyrocket or rattle your social status starting from a Cracker Jack age on up through early adulthood (maybe right now), but we’re here to show you just how uncool you were so you can put your anxious mind to rest.

This is not a bad thing, being uncouth, as most uncool kids, nerds and the bullied of your elementary years have probably gone on to do great things. Meanwhile, you lay in a puddle of your own filth. Here’s to the nerds, dorks, forest frolickers and book readers of your recess hour.

10 Funny-Because-It’s-True Ways To Know If You Weren’t The Coolest As A Kid

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It isn’t easy being uncool, but it’s even worse not to know about this: Cosmo Kramer’s Guide to Living Life on Your Own Terms