Study Shows Women Are Turned On By Dudes Who Don’t Smile So I’m In Luck

Photo: Showtime

So let’s give it up to people who conduct research and studies, because without them we would never know that people actually get less pissy as they get older, and that women with big butts are smarter and healthier. And now we have another eye-opening find: gals love dudes who don’t smile. Oh, and they are also into dudes who sweat. OK then.

According to a  study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour, women are actually more naturally attracted to the expressions seen on men who possess the “Dark Triad” traits. Now what in the hell are the “Dark Triad” traits? Well, those traits pretty much include narcissism and psychopathy. So it’s true what they say: Women love bad boys, and guys who may or may not be so unhappy they refuse to smile. Hot.

And while you’re not smiling, remember to not shower, because according to a separate study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, women get hot and bothered when they smell male sweat. Apparently they have an acceleration of heartbeats and increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol when they get a sniff of sweat.

In conclusion, fellas, don’t shower, sweat, be gross, and remember, don’t smile.

h/t Maxim

More studies: According To New Study These Are Everyone’s Favorite Sex Positions 

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