17 Incredible Confessions From People In The Witness Protection Program

Photo: Epoxydude (Getty)

If you think your life is difficult to navigate through, it’s going to seem like a cakewalk after you read these confessions from actually people in the witness protection program.

Sure, you weren’t a witness to these Christmas crimes, and hell, you weren’t even a witness like this parrot apparently was, but the guys and gals below were unfortunately nearby when a crime occurred, or they just simply knew so much that their life was put at a risk, because they found themselves in the witness protection program. And thanks to Whisper, we get to read some of these confessions from folks who are living a secret life somewhere.

Check them out below.

witness4

 

witness2

 

witness5

 

witness9

 

witness3

 

witness10

 

witness12

 

witness7

 

witness14

 

witness6

 

witness16

 

witness8

 

witness1

 

witness13

 

witness11

 

witness15

 

witness17

So now your life doesn’t seem so bad, because the folks above had to go all Gone Girl (although I don’t know if that reference works. Probably doesn’t, but you get it). Here’s hoping you never have to go into the witness protection program. And if you do, hopefully hilarity ensues ala We’re The Millers (does that reference work? I feel like it has to this time).

More confessions: 18 Business Trip Hook Up Confessions That Will Make You Think Twice About Your Partner’s Next Trip