RIP Taylor Swift (2009 – 2016)

Taylor Swift


Let’s recap: Kanye West dropped “Famous” which included the line: I feel like me and Taylor might have sex / I made that bitch famous. Kanye then claimed he called her beforehand and Taylor approved of the line. Taylor’s PR team then released a statement stating Kanye never called for approval and blasted the song for having a “strong misogynistic message“. Taylor Swift didn’t respond until the she had the biggest stage to do so, the 2016 Grammys, where she, under the guise of girl power, delivered a prepared speech where she publicly dragged Kanye for trying “take credit for her fame“. Four months later, Kim Kardashian did GQ, and in her interview, she claimed that Taylor actually did approve the line and that video exists of her doing so (keep in mind that this story broke the same day). In response, Taylor Swift’s PR team, yet again, painted Taylor as a victim and called Kim a liar

Then last night happened.

Taylor Swift Kim Kardashian


That’s not the entire video, but you can watch the part 1 here and part 2 here. You can also read the full transcript here. Long story short, everything Kanye and Kim said was true.

In response, Taylor Swift’s soul was shook out of her body and she responded on Instagram with an iNote she had in a draft for weeks. 

That moment when Kanye West secretly records your phone call, then Kim posts it on the Internet.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

Yes, poor Taylor Swift is the victim once again. A victim of a “character assassination”.  A character assassination much like when she posted Joe Jonas‘ breakup voicemail on YouTube. A character assassination much like when she described the woman Joe Jonas dated after her, Camille Belle, as “an actress, she’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress“. A character assassination much like the time when she publicly dissed Harry Styles – while he was in the audience – in front of millions while accepting a VMA for yet another song she wrote about an ex. A character assassination much like the time she literally called up all her “friends” to make a video dragging Katy Perry. A character assassination much like the time she humiliated Calvin Harris because she got pissy after he denied her involvement in a song (a song she didn’t want anybody to know she co-wrote btw). But not before cheating on him. And you didn’t ask to be part of the narrative? Sorry. Did John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, or Harry Styles ask to be part of your narrative that you used to portray yourself as a victim? No? Then shut the fuck up. 

Naturally, Taylor woke up all her friends to tweet for her. Like Selena Gomez, who went full on Gretchen Wieners. 

I checked Selena’s twitter, and she doesn’t appear to be using her voice for anything except pimping her shit movie and makeup. Go to sleep, Gretchen. Next.

Ruby Rose wants people to stop being so judgmental and mean to “one another”.  If this was tweeted without irony, she might want to ask Taylor Swift to start first. Maybe do that. And maybe stop throwing fries at bartenders  when you don’t feel the restaurant is fully kissing your ass. 

Apparently Martha Hunt is here so she won’t get fined. 

Not sure who invited Chloe Grace Moretz.

I’m sure we’ll be seeing think pieces by white girls with non-prescription glasses who will try to explain this away by blaming Kim Kardashian’s “internalized misogyny”, but here’s the deal, Taylor Swift is now just one big DJ Khaled meme. She overplayed her hand and played herself. She got beat at her own game by someone who has been doing it longer. If Taylor Swift took this much care of a dick as she takes care of her own narrative, she might not have these many problems. She’s a manipulative, conniving sociopath who will literally do anything to squeeze every dollar and attention out of her name and relationships, and to maintain her PR lab-crafted image. She’s sued her own fans for making fan art on Etsy. She sued her own fucking guitar teacher for having the audacity to say he taught her. She got a radio DJ fired for allegedly groping her ass, he sued for slander because it wasn’t him (witnesses backed him up), then she counter-sued him into oblivion. She sent a cease and desist letter to a podcast for reciting the lyrics to “Shake It Off”. She tried to trademark a year. When Calvin Harris got a handjob  in a Thai massage parlor, she tried to wipe the story off the Internet. When Adele broke her “Bad Blood” Youtube record, Taylor had Tumblr posts removed that made fun of her. She’s a fucking lunatic. Anyway, here’s a live look at Taylor’s PR team this morning. This is gonna be a fun week.

Taylor Swift

The Hitler hairdo is making me feel ill: