Beyonce’s Dad Says Divorce Rumors Were To Trick You Into Buying A Ticket

 

The past two weeks we were all led to believe that spreading misinformation was strictly a tactic used by police departments and the government, but as it turns out, Beyonce and Jay Z might have started their own divorce rumors so you would buy a ticket to their “On The Run Tour”. She told you to bow down, and of course, you did.

Mathew Knowles has spoken out with new claims that the whole scandal was a “Jedi mind trick” orchestrated to “ignite” ticket sales for the couple’s On The Run Tour!.…Knowles made the explosive claims on the Roula & Ryan show on 104.1 KRBE in Houston earlier this week. Asked about the infamous elevator incident earlier this year, and continuing divorce rumors, Knowles — Beyonce’s former manager — was unequivocal about his opinion. “I know, because we’ve done this. From experience, there’s a tour going on,” he said. “So you sometimes have to ignite that tour. It’s called a Jedi mind trick. The Jedi mind trick fools you a lot.”…Incredulous, one of the hosts asked if it were truly possible that Beyonce, Jay Z, and Solange Knowles staged and leaked the tape of themselves arguing in an elevator at an after-party for the Met Ball in New York earlier this year. He said, “All I know is the Jedi mind trick. Everyone’s talking about it. Ticket sales went up. Solange’s album sales went up 200%!”

Beyonce is a feminist icon now, so a plot to pretend her marriage is crumbling to squeeze every last dime she can from her tour will be seen as a shrewd, tactical move from a badass bitch boss lady. Kinda like the time Farrah Abraham pretended she was pregnant with James Deen’s baby. No? Not the same thing? Ok, cool.

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