Jenny McCarthy Thinks You’re Gay If You Don’t Call Her Back

Having already conquered autism with denial and several subscriptions to mommy blogs, Jenny McCarthy is now the leading authority on homosexuality. So men, if you're on the fence about your sexuality, let Jenny McCarthy give you her number. If you don't call her back immediately, you're obviously a huge fag who can't get enough of the D. E! Online reports:

Jenny McCarthy had her doubts about Donnie Wahlberg before they began dating in July. During a radio interview with Scott and Todd from New York's 95.5 PLJ, the new View co-host said it took a while for the Blue Bloods star to ask her out, making her question Wahlberg's sexual orientation. The couple first met in March on the set of McCarthy's Vh1 talk show. "I went a year without dating anybody," the buxom blonde recalled. "So I don't know if I was really randy or really ready, but he was there and I gave him my phone number." She added, "I've never given a guy my number, but I was interested." McCarthy, 40, was dumbfounded when she didn't immediately hear from Wahlberg. "'It took two weeks for him to call me back, and I thought for sure he was playing for a different team, if you know what I'm saying," she said. "That's of course my ego, a girl's ego: ‘He must be married, he's gay, what's wrong?'"

Women are raised to believe that their vaginas are a magical world of wonder that you should worship if you ever want to enter, but since there's about 3.5 billion of them in the world, us men have a few more options than just yours. However, most men don't have the privilege of wading through the still wet sea of New Kids On The Block pussy like Donnie Wahlberg. So yeah, if a guy doesn't call you back, he's totally gay. Or has autism. Either of those two. I mean, because there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're a perfect princess.