Katie Holmes Is Trying To Get Pregnant By Her Co-Star

Being married to Tom Cruise sucked every last bit of hot out of Katie Holmes, and when he was done, he cracked open her bones and sucked the marrow to make sure there wasn't any hot left, but apparently she wants another guy to have sex with her. She's already dating her Mania Days co-star Luke Kirby (I don't know who he is either, sorry), and she and her ovaries have agreed that he's the best candidate. National Enquirer reports:

Lovestruck KATIE HOLMES is telling pals that she wants to be a mom again – and new squeeze Luke Kirby is her dream baby daddy!..“Katie is so ready to start a new chapter of her life, and she wants to make Suri’s dream of becoming a big sister come true,” divulged an insider.“Suri has been pestering Katie for a baby brother or sister for a few years, but Katie and Tom were having such terrible problems that she didn’t want another child.“After she and Tom split last summer, Katie gave up on her baby dream. But since meeting Luke, Katie feels reborn. She’s so ready to start fresh with him and put the past – and Tom – behind her.”

Despite that blockquote sounding like a part of a novel for written for tween girls, I'm not sure how Tom Cruise is going to feel about this. I say "feel" because does Tom Cruise really feel? One of the worst kept secrets in Hollywood is that Tom Cruise stalks and kills homeless people for sport and makes prostitutes wear their skin.