Jennifer Lopez showed up at the “A Night to Benefit Raising Malawi and UNICEF” event last night and, uh, damn. This bitch is huge. She confirmed she’s having twins, but did she get raped by a minotaur? I don’t get it. Marc Antony looks like a reanimated zombie from a Mexican-American War graveyard, it’s not like Lopez had sex with Shaq. Something is not right here. Either these are the biggest twins in the history of mankind, or Lopez is going to pop out purple dinosaur who teaches kids about the value of sharing.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.