Eva Longoria Might Have a Sex Tape

If seeing short, flat Mexican chicks getting plowed by NBA players is your thing, then today is your lucky day. It is widely speculated that an Eva Longoria sex tape may hit online as early as this month. The Sun reports:

Rumours have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby Tony Parker. If the tape is genuine, it is tipped to become the biggest sex tape unearthed since Paris Hilton’s One Night In Paris. Latest reports from the States suggest the video HAS made its way online, but only on paid for sites.”

Well, I guess there are worse things than an Eva Longoria sex tape. Some might say acid rain or gays in the military. Some might even say the sex tape I made with that chick who plays Ugly Betty. Look, I was going through a difficult time in my life at the time and she took advantage of me. My friends think that’s why I’m unable to find love.