Hi! I’m high.

No bra, stained shirt, nipples pointing Southeast and Southwest, shirt-buttons hanging on for dear life, hideous boots … yep, that’s Britney. Now, I’m particularly fond of the hair extensions which were obviously done on a crackhead’s porch between Normandie & Western in exchange for a rock.

And what color is that hair, exactly? Asphalt?

How pretty.

My favorite part of these pictures are the not real-looking at all colored contact lenses which are doing a piss poor job of hiding Britney’s blown pupils. She only has around 500 Kilowatts of flash bulbs in her eyes right now and they still can’t manage to constrict. Britney looks like a less intelligent thrift store mannequin who befriended a less attractive version of Tera Patrick.

P.S. I didn’t have the energy to properly quote and tackle this entire mile-long, several page article printed by News of the World. In summary, it calls Britney out on being a meth smoking, coke snorting, child abusing, all around psycho, dirtbag alcoholic whore. But I figured that was obvious. However, as per your requests, I’m posting the link to the article.