Real talk: I’ve gone on a lot of bad dates. Not the kind of bad dates that leave you saying, “Eh, we just didn’t click,” but the kind of bad dates that turn into legendary stories among friend groups and beyond. One time, a guy used both hands to shove an extra large sushi roll into his mouth. Another time, a guy actually dipped his hand into his wine glass… and then wiped his fingers across his face.
I know these are extreme examples; not all unsuccessful dates turn into horror stories. But there are some habits that should absolutely be left at the door if you want any chance of date two down the line.
Not asking any questions
I went out with a guy recently who asked me to explain my job and then went on to talk about himself for the rest of the date. Hours later, I knew all about his 7th grade move to another town, that time he got fired from Sport Authority, and his mom’s move to the US. First dates are all about conversation – lay off the diatribes and engage in some banter!
Talking in depth about past relationships
We’ve all got past relationships of some kind; they’re bound to come up in conversation. By no means should you hide the fact that you have an ex-girlfriend, but girls don’t need to hear all about the breakup three years ago that left you heartbroken. Unless, of course, you are still heartbroken and need to talk about it, in which case, maybe don’t date quite yet.
Using your phone
Under no circumstances should you pick up your phone during a date to use it in any capacity. Do not answer a call, do not send an email, do not post on Facebook. Simply do not do these things. If you realize there’s something you absolutely need to take care of, excuse yourself and visit the men’s room. It’s widely accepted that both you and your date will take advantage of bathroom breaks to check your phones.
Ignoring body language/context
Are you in a quiet, classy lounge or a crowded sports bar? Lower – or raise – your voice accordingly. Is she leaning away from you with her arms crossed? Don’t go in for that kiss, no matter how hot you think she is. Respect the person you’re with and be aware of your surroundings; no one likes an oblivious buffoon doing whatever he pleases at all times.
Dudes. Listen. If you ask a girl on a date, it is your obligation to foot the bill – or, at the very least, offer to cover it. It’s courteous, shows interest, and trust me, she will reciprocate down the line if you guys become an item.
Avoid these chemistry-killing behaviors and you might just get a second date.