Trolling #40: E.T. SUCKS!

This one will be a deep, deep cut.

Steven Spielberg’s 1982 classic E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial is not just a celebrated and adored film, but the overall critical and cultural consensus is unanimously ecstatic. Roger Ebert added it to his famous list of Great Movies, but more than that, E.T. has entered one of the highest tiers of sentimental favorites: So many children have seen it, the film has become a sort of natural and integral part of the American childhood experience. That’s certainly true of my generation. When you learn that E.T. has a 98% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, your first reaction will likely be one of “so who was the one asshole who didn’t like it?” To answer your question, that asshole is none other than the Village Voice’s Don McKellar. And before you trek over to the Village Voice website to spew bile all over him, know that his article is well-written, salient… and 12 years old.

And, looking over that article, McKellar dares to say something that I think has been tickling the bases of our spines for many years. Through all the sentimentality, the nostalgia, the critical lionization of a goofy-ass alien flick from the ’80s, we hear the essential truth about the movie striving to break free. We hear it saying that the film itself – the eye of this memorial storm – is not that great. Indeed, let Trolling just say it plainly: E.T. SUCKS! Let’s run down several reasons why we know this to be true.



What E.T. does offer is invaluable: It offers a child’s-eye-view of the world. What’s more, its sweetness and sentimentality cut through most cynicism, presenting us with a film about well-rounded child characters, and their playful, relatable struggle to help a friend. But one can easily see the cracks in its visage. It’s weird, scary, sad, and unsettling. And not in an intended way.

Until next week, let the hate mail flow.  


Witney Seibold is the head film critic for Nerdist, and a contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. You can read his weekly articles Trolling here on Crave, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind. 

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