Thor: God of Thunder #15: Adventures in Candy Land

Thor: God of Thunder #15

 

If nothing else, I will owe Jason Aaron a debt of thanks for saving me $3.99 a week. Why? Well, after reading his latest issue of Thor, I’m all done with this series until it gets a new writer. Aaron, too. I’ve given him to many benefits of too many doubts, and he has failed me every time. From this day forward, anything bearing his name, will be avoided at all costs. So, for whatever money that saves me, I thank Mr. Aaron.

Moving on to the abysmal Thor: God of Thunder #15, Aaron has managed to make a war against Malekith boring. How do you take an iconic villain, one created by the legend Walt Simonson, and make him and the war against him boring? Easy. You waste an entire issue on bad dialogue and stupid plot devices. Issue #15 takes place on Alfheim, the realm of the day elves. It’s brightly colored, filled with cutesy little elves, as well as champagne rivers and big flowers, etc. Essentially, Aaron has decided to bring the war to Candy Land.

Thor and his constantly bickering band of warriors come to Candy Land to find and defeat Malekith. Really, this is just an excuse for Aaron to write more of his “funny” dialogue and goofy plot points. Everybody on Team Thor has the same exact wit, so the one liners come fast and furious. While not as aggravating as Amazing X-Men #1, Thor: GOT #15 is a prime example of Aaron’s rut of writing comic scripts as though they were sitcoms. At one point, a dwarf who was stripped of his explosives by Thor kills an elf with a candy cane. He then says, “Never killed elf with candy cane before.” Wackity schmackity doooo.

Continuing the kooky escapades, Thor gets into a drinking contest with a giant. Naturally, Thor wins, and he celebrates by having a conversation with his hammer. Out comes the female Dark Elf who is helping Thor and, after a few barbs, they begin kissing. Absolutely nothing happens in this issues. Nothing. The story does not advance, the characters do not become more interesting, and Malekith keeps this aloof air, as if he’s “the guy you love to hate.” By the time Malekith shows up, there’s no momentum, and his slaughter of Thor’s giant buddy means nothing because we never go to know the giant.

Thor has really been held down by mediocrity since Matt Fraction was writing it, so this run is no surprise. Aaron’s run started well, but the muddled, and ridiculously long Gorr The God Butcher arc killed it. I was slightly invested in the first issue of the Malekith run, but this issue has killed that. I have tried to like Jason Aaron’s work, but he consistently reduces what he does to that of a CW show, trying to be funny and edgy at the same time.

Ron Garney’s art is also starting to get on my nerves. Initially, I enjoyed his water-color vibe, and the light, fantastical elements of what he does. However, now that action has come into play, that lighter ideal does not work. Each panel comes across like a painting, but never communicates action. This is a war with Malekith – it needs to be dark and brutal, not light and airy.

Thor is an icon, one that deserves better than sitcom adventures in Candy Land.

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