An Iowa Daycare Was On Lockdown Because Somebody Left A Bag Of Sex Toys Outside

Photo: IPGGutenbergUKLtd (Getty)

Hopefully the bomb squad brought gloves.

According to The Des Moines Register, a daycare in Cedar Rapids was put on lockdown last Tuesday after a passerby noticed a suspicious bag that was left on a bench outside of the building.

The contents of that bag? You guessed it: sex toys.

An Iowa Daycare Was On Lockdown Because Somebody Left A Bag Of Sex Toys Outside

bag of sex toys

Photo: Stephen Mally/The Gazette

Of course, it wasn’t a group of orgy participants or single librarians who were initially called to inspect and identify exactly what was in the bag of sex gadgets. Instead, “law enforcement and emergency crews responded to the scene, which included a Special Response Team, K-9 unit and a bomb-detecting robot,” and it took them…wait for it…90 minutes to figure out that the bag had toys that make people get off instead of a bomb that would go off.

Parents were allowed to pick up their children about a half hour later after authorities “disposed of” the bag o’ sex toys. Police said they still have no idea who left the impressive collection of vibrators and dildos outside of a daycare, and we have no idea what he or she will do now to pleasure themselves in the new year.

What can we say? Sometimes traffic makes you hornier than shit: Woman Too Busy Using Sex Toy In Traffic Crashes Into Van