Baby, it’s cold outside. Unless you’re in one of the many areas across the world that are experiencing an unseasonably warm holiday because of that whole global warming thing. If that’s you, you’re probably longing for a sweet snowfall, some crisp air, and an icicle or two, and you’re probably in the mood to watch a film that reminds you of what winter is actually supposed to feel like.
Unfortunately, movies sometimes take the iciness of winter a little too metaphorically. Lots of the coldest movies ever made are bleak tales of desperate survival, cannibalism and moral dissolution. A lot of those are genuinely great motion pictures, but yikes, they’re not the kind of films you’re going to want to snuggle up to with a cup of hot cocoa.
Still, a great movie is a great movie, and those of you who actually are trapped in the snow this year might want to see your frustrations with the unshoveled walk out in front of your house unleashed in movie form. Whether you’re longing for snow or hating it with every fiber of your being, we have you covered.
Crave presents eleven of the coldest movies ever made: classic dramas, impressive thrillers and just one musical to take the edge off. These are just the movies you need right now, wherever the hell you are. So put on your sweater, or take it off, and enjoy these frozen cinematic delights.
11 of the Coldest Movies Ever Made:
Top Photo: Disney / LucasFilm
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
11 of the Coldest Movies Ever Made
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The Shining (1980)
Stanley Kubrick's somewhat loose adaptation of Stephen King's best-selling spook story is chilling in more ways than one. Jack Nicholson plays a patriarch who loses his mind while minding a hotel over the freezing winter, isolated from the rest of the world with his family, and tormented by ghosts who wish all of them ill.
Photo: Warner Bros.
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Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1982)
Only the opening of the second Star Wars movie is set on the ice planet Hoth, but that's enough to make it one of the most iconic locations in movie history. The tundras are home to snow monsters, but the real threat is the Empire, who attack the rebel base in one of the best action sequences ever filmed.
Photo: Disney/LucasFilm
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The Thing (1982)
John Carpenter's remake of The Thing from Another World brings more iciness to the sci-fi thriller than ever before, telling a story of fear and paranoia as a shapeshifting alien gradually takes over a remote outpost in Antarctica. The creature effects are some of the most gruesome in the history of the medium, and the film's disturbing conclusion is just plain cold.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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Alive (1993)
The true story of a Uruguayan rugby team whose plane crashed in the Andes comes to memorable, shocking life in Frank Marshall's bracing drama, about the extent to which we are willing to compromise in order to stay... well, alive.
Photo: Buena Vista Pictures
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Cliffhanger (1993)
Violent thieves crash their plane in a mountain range, so they force experienced climber Sylvester Stallone to help them retrieve their scattered, ill-gotten gains in this broad and kickass thriller from Renny Harlin. Great stunts and a fun villain played by John Lithgow make Cliffhanger one of Stallone's best action movies.
Photo: TriStar Pictures
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Fargo (1996)
A kidnapping goes horribly wrong in The Coen Bros.' Oscar-winning drama, about a pregnant Minnesota police chief who can barely believe the moral corruption and violence she stumbles into. Sharp writing, unexpected humor and unsettling tragedy have made Fargo a classic.
Photo: Gramercy Pictures
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A Simple Plan (1998)
Future Spider-Man director Sam Raimi was still best known for horror movies when this dire drama came out in the late 1990s. The Oscar-nominated thriller stars Bill Paxton and Billy Bob Thornton as brothers torn apart when they find a pile of money in the snow, leading them to make unthinkable decisions and engage in horrific violence. A Simple Plan is a sad but beautiful film that earned Raimi some long overdo respect as a filmmaker.
Photo: Paramount Pictures
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The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Roland Emmerich accelerated the timetable of global warming to a ridiculous degree with his sci-fi thriller The Day After Tomorrow, which imagines that all the consequences of man-made climate change will happen all at once. It's a neat idea, breathtakingly filmed, but so absolutely absurd that many dismiss the movie's goofy charms outright. Give it another chance and you'll see it's actually a fun motion picture, however silly it may be.
Photo: 20th Century Fox
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Frozen (2010)
Hatchet director Adam Green directed a much more plausible horror story in 2010, about a group of skiers who become trapped on a lift when the lodge closes for a week. It's an unthinkable situation that's uncomfortably easy to think about, and every winter sports' enthusiast's worst nightmare.
Photo: Anchor Bay Films
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The Grey (2011)
Liam Neeson's airplane crashes in the Yukon, and he leads the survivors on a desperate trek through the freezing wilderness while a pack of territorial wolves track them down. Joe Carnahan's suspenseful thriller is a powerful dissection of masculinity, set against a backdrop that tests everything these men believe in.
Photo: Open Road Films
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Frozen (2013)
On the lighter side, Walt Disney's Oscar-winning animated feature is a charming musical fairy tale about a repressed Queen who accidentally uses her magical powers to plunge the kingdom into a new ice age. The songs became instant classics, and the themes of sisterly love and personal growth were rapidly embraced by kids of all ages. Frozen offers all the fun of a childhood snow day.
Photo: Disney
