Mandatory MasterClass: Bad Fatherly Advice From Your Favorite Terrible TV Dads
Dads are full of wisdom and they’re always eager to share it. This is never truer than in the case of TV dads. Unfortunately, not all fatherly advice is good. Whether it’s about living life to the fullest, finding a mate, or succeeding at work, advice from a fictional old man is often misguided, unhelpful, and even downright dangerous. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a laugh out of it. That’s why, in honor of Father’s Day, we’ve sought out the bad fatherly advice from your favorite terrible TV dads. Hear them out, then do exactly the opposite of what they suggest.
Cover Photo: Hulu
Homer Simpson: 'The Simpsons'
“Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”
Rick Grimes: 'The Walking Dead'
“You are not safe. No matter how many people are around, or how clear the area looks, no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, you are not safe. It only takes one second. One second and it’s over. Never let your guard down, ever.”
Al Bundy: 'Married...with Children'
“Son, always remember the Bundy Credo. Lie when your wife is waking. Lie when your belly’s aching. Lie when you know she’s faking. Lie, sell shoes and lie.”
Peter Griffin: 'Family Guy'
“This is life so go and have a ball. Because the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have … my opening statement. Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.”
Phil Dunphy: 'Modern Family'
“The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.”
Hank Hill: 'King of the Hill'
“Son, I’m going to show you how the world really works. I’m going to take your wallet, kick you to the ground, and punch you in the gut.”
Mike Brady: 'The Brady Bunch'
"Alone, we can only move buckets. But if we work together, we can drain rivers."
Tony Soprano: 'The Sopranos'
“These fuckin’ women, they’ll drive you nuts with their emotions and whatnot. And I know it feels like you’re never gonna love anybody again. But trust me, there’s millions of girls that are dyin’ to meet a guy like you. I see ’em every day.”
Dan Connor: 'Roseanne'
"Hey, if you don't finish your crud, you're not gonna get any crap for dessert."
Danny Tanner: 'Full House'
“Clean is good and dirt is bad.”
Uncle Phil: 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air'
“I’d like to impart some words that I’ve always lived by: Mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money.”