Adam Sandler Gets Snubbed on His ‘Gem,’ Time for Revenge Movie ‘Jack and Jill 2’
If you had money on Adam Sandler getting an Oscar nomination, don’t quit your day job—the Sandman has been snubbed. For those of you who haven’t seen the Safdie brothers’ Uncut Gems, check it out; Sandler Zohan kicks all the critics who’ve put him in a less-than-mediocre box. He should’ve been nominated for a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, an Academy Award—all of the mainstream accolades that remind thespians of their superiority.
Sandler’s snub is a blatant reminder of how full of shit Hollywood is. As the smell of excrement becomes overwhelming, people have spoken out against this travesty; even Jennifer Aniston gave Sandler a shout-out at the SAG awards: “Your magic is real, buddy.” Sandler is our buddy. No matter how many bad movies he makes, we still love him because he’s just a dude, unaffected by the glam of red carpets and rhinoplasties. While he’s never been quite able to seat himself amongst Hollywood’s elite, we’ve seen glimpses of what he is capable of in films like Punch-Drunk Love and The Meyerowitz Stories. This year’s Uncut Gems was his evolution; our Pokemon grew to serious-level actor.
In an interview with The New York Post, a member of the Academy called Sandler’s performance in Uncut Gems “a tour de force.” That voter went on to say, “He’s emerging as a truly great actor, but then he does cheesy Netflix comedies that are really dumb.” So, apparently, nominations are based upon one’s entire career, not a single performance (because child actors and actresses don’t get nominated all the time). Some people think Sandler rubbed voters the wrong way in December when he had this to say on The Howard Stern Show: “If I don’t get [a nomination], I’m going to fucking come back and do [a movie] that is so bad on purpose, just to make you all pay. That’s how I get them.”
We’re all for it. Sandler deserves to come back with one big vengeful stink bomb—a middle finger to all those who can’t forgive Jack and Jill. As Sandler studies his extensive library of condemned films to craft Jack and Jill 2 (a Mount Everest of dung), we take a look back on some of his worst movies and their respective stinks, from pungent to nauseating.
Cover Photo: A24
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8. 'You Don't Mess with the Zohan'
Smells like a sweaty foot kicking you in the face.
7. 'That's My Boy'
Has the aroma of a school boy fart.
6. 'Just Go With It'
Stinks like an overpriced spray tan.
The malodor of this movie is similar to that of forgotten garbage, because it is.
4. 'The Do-Over'
This one hasn't showered in a week.
3. 'Grown Ups 2'
Riddled with the putrid stank of a urinating deer.
2. 'Jack and Jill'
Reeks like a lesser anteater, the most foul-smelling creature in the animal kingdom.
1. 'The Ridiculous 6'
A 17th century anus smells better than this movie.