Ellen Degeneres Got Wine Drunk, Fell Down, And Dislocated Her Finger

 

I thought TV show hosts falling down drunk and fucking up their hand was Jimmy Fallon’s thing, but Ellen Degeneres continues to fight for equality.

I dislocated my finger. That’s what they call it, which is an incorrect term because I knew where it was located. It was just wrongly located is what it was,” she joked. “So, do you know what they do when you dislocate your finger? It’s very technical. What they do is they take the part that’s dislocated and then they just snap it right back into place.” She added, “Before they did it, I was in incredible pain and [my nurse] said, ‘Do you want a shot?’ And I said, ‘No, I had two glasses of wine — that’s what got me into this mess in the first place.’ She meant a shot to numb my finger. She said, ‘You’re gonna feel a little prick.’ This is a daytime show — you make up your own joke there.”

Isn’t “I had two” what you tell police when they pull you over? Anyway, I think this story tells us that old, rich white ladies like to drink wine. Big if true.

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