Britney Spears is Unsinkable

This is The RMS Britney in Hawaii after a team of marine biologists mistook her for a beached orca and pushed her back in the ocean. Next time instead of using those jean shorts to cover up the hail damage on her lower half, she should consider one of the lovely and flattering pieces available at Big on Batik. I recommend avoiding black and white this time and going for “Golden Cheetah“. I don’t see any Greenpeace boats around. There’s never a group of poachers when you need one.

For the record, I don’t think Britney’s related to Shamu. I just have a thing against annoying, talentless people who other people idolize even though they do shit like this. So she’s fair game in my book. Frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t strap Sean P. to her arm and use him as a floatie.