Jessica Simpson Isn’t Good For You

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be married to Jessica Simpson, here’s your answer. If you’re one of those people who envies Nick Lachey, you can stop now. Look at this poor guy. There they are this weekend looking blissfully content while buying Jessica more ugly clothes to add to her vast collection of ugly clothes. That’s only if “blissfully content” means “borderline suicidal”. Nick used to be quite the hottie, but it looks like life married to a father in law and a ditzy, mini father in law with ten pounds of eyeliner and big tits she never lets him touch has taken its toll on him. He’s now a blind, hairy, zitty albino. But hey, at least he’s now legally handicapped and gets shotgun.