Jude Law should just kill himself

It would be easy to call Jude Law a bitch with no penis. In fact, look, I just did. But then a bunch of sensitive guys in scarves would put down their tattered copy of Care of the Soul and ask if I had any room to talk. Well, let’s just say that comparing my penis to Jude Law’s is like comparing John Wayne to that cowboy monkey that rides a dog. Is it fun to say, “Go cowboy monkey on a dog, get those blasted rustlers!” Yeah, obviously it is, but if push came to shove John Wayne would fuck that monkey up. Just like my penis. Except replace “cowboy monkey” with “Sienna Miller” and everything else I said with something that makes sense.

note – This picture contains hot penis action, and I’m going to label it NSFW, but you have to really really stare. It’s like one of those Magic Eye books. It takes a while but eventually the image will come into focus. Tip: unfocus your eyes and try to look through the penis.

All credit to the great Fleshbot for the pic.

update – Now with a second picture exclusive to IDLY. Wait, “exclusive” does mean “someone pointed it out in the comment section and I took it off Flickr” right? Oh. Well, what are you, in the CIA, now? Screw you man!

unsexy new update – At some terrifying point this page turned into some kind of virtual glory hole, and no one is more confused or afraid than I am, but that second picture is now in high-res. It’s schlong-tastic!