‘Dancing With The Stars’ Features Its First Ever Fart To The Face, And It’s Gruesome

May 2, 2017

Photo: ABC

Full disclosure: I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, and am not about to start anytime soon. However, I’m a huge fan of farts and fart-related humor. So in that regard, I’m a bit torn, much like the back of Lindsay Arnold’s underwear likely was after cutting a horrendous rain maker in the face of former Chicago Cubs pitcher David Ross during last night’s show. But talk is cheap, so let’s cut to the cheese so you can get an earful of the thundering butt belch yourself, courtesy of Yahoo:

Lindsay Arnold Farts In David Ross’ Face On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

How do they keep this show so fresh after 23 seasons? OK, maybe fresh isn’t exactly the right word to use when referring to salsa farts to faces. But kudos to Ross for somehow laughing it off. And an even bigger kudos to Nancy Grace for secretly disguising herself as Lindsay Arnold and letting it rip once again. We knew you had it in ya, Nance. Literally, you farted on the show once before and it never gets old pointing that out.

On that note, let’s talk about something a little classier that only sounds fart-related (dammit, it is fart-related): Scientists Say That Uranus Does In Fact Smell Like Farts

If you couldn't tell by his photo, dignity flew out the window long ago for Cory. But that just means that nothing is off limits, making him the perfect fit to write for Mandatory. Hobbies include: eating pizza, thinking about going for a jog today, writing memes that no one finds funny, and wondering what life would be like if he'd actually put forth the effort to make something of it 10 years ago. He also owns two other hats (not pictured).