Movies You Definitely Don’t Want to Watch With Your Parents
“The Wolf of Wall Street”
What drugs doesn’t Leo do in this movie? “Smoke crack with me” is the classic line (by Jonah Hill) that prefaces Margot Robbie spreading her legs, walking around in lingerie and getting lines snorted off her awesome perky rack. Don’t forget the copy room double team. And that’s just a fraction of the ridiculousness Scorsese had in store. I never had a job with strippers in the office.
Back for more, Leo? It’s hard to decide which is more gruesome, but we’re going to go with the splitting open and sleeping in the dead horse. Your mother won’t handle half of this movie well, and your father is just going to yell at her to pipe down or get out. Who says Leo isn’t family friendly?
“Requiem for a Dream”
The movie score alone is enough to incite nightmares, but the puss-riddled, infected junkie arm and the ass-to-ass sex party are right up there, too.
“50 Shades of Grey”
This film needs no explanation, as your mother probably didn’t know half these things existed. And if she does, that’s much worse.
“Into the Void”
This is just a hard movie for anyone to see, especially sober. There are countless scenes where you question humanity and the direction it’s going, namely the drugs, death and strobe lights. Your mother will be in tears, maybe dad, too.
That classic scene where virgin, Jason Biggs, finds out what his dad was telling him about warm apple pie is unforgettable, and yet we want to forget so badly. Is he still a virgin? It’s possible.
“Magic Mike XXL”
These hunky studs are always good for a movie night with the lady, and by “lady,” we definitely don’t mean your mother. She’ll be up dancing with those boys next to the TV, or worse the theater itself. We all love Channing Tatum, but we don’t want to hear how much our moms like him (or what they’d do if he was there). Luckily, there’s two of them, too.
The Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis kiss scene is one of the best girl-on-girl make-out scenes ever, so much so it won an Oscar. We didn’t see it coming, and should we be watching it with our parents, it’d be an immediate pillow-over-the-boner moment. Those are the best when with family, right?
“Human Centipede (The First Sequence)”
And that’s only the first sequence! Just imagine watching the “Centipede” trilogy with your folks after Christmas dinner. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, especially since they somehow up the ante each time.