Study Says Laziness Is The Key To A Long Life

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Do you happen to know of an unemployed, basement-dwelling, 20-something-year-old adult who religiously watches The Price Is Right every day? If so, you might want to think about joining forces with them because there’s a pretty good chance they’re not only smarter than you, they’re more likely to survive in dire circumstances as well.

New research has concluded that lazy people are more likely to have a long life when compared to those with more get-up-and-go, which is music to our apathetic ears. Even better? Being a bum helps fight global warming!

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Research published in the Journal of Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Science, says animal species with a higher metabolic rate are more prone to extinction than those who are more traditionally relaxed. Translation: be lazy, live a long life.

Luke Strotz, a postdoctoral researcher from the University of Kansas’ Biodiversity Institute and Natural History Museum, agreed with the research in a press release: “Those that have lower energy maintenance requirements seem more likely to survive than those organisms with a higher metabolic rate.”

Of course, the study focused on fossilized mollusks, so it remains to be seen if the research would have similar findings when tested on humans. Hopefully, laziness will soon be confirmed as the best way to ensure a long life.

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Research groups are expected to branch out with their test subjects moving forward. “Some of the next steps are to expand it out to other clades to see if the result is consistent with some things we know about other groups,” said Strotz.

If only some caveman pharmacist could have come up with a Mesozoic Era form of Xanax, we might still be walking with dinosaurs.