‘Venom’ Has An Official Trailer And It Kinda Sucks Pretty Hard

Venom

 

I really don’t know what to tell you. All I know about Venom is that dude from That 70s Show played him in that horrible Spider-Man movie. That is the extent of my Venom knowledge. I don’t know anymore Venom things. But yeah, this looks pretty wack. Tom Hardy not acting very well and doing some weird accent, Michelle Williams doing her best Michelle Williams concerned face, and that dude from Rogue One you loved so much you can even remember his character’s name. And Jenny Slate for some reason. Jenny Slate saying “sym-BI-ote” twice. From what I can tell, when you become Venom, you talk to yourself and get a long penis for a tongue. Missed opportunity not to make Venom a lesbian. Anyway, here’s the trailer. It’s a Sony movie, so expect Tom Hardy to eat Papa Johns at some point, but drink Coke separately because Papa Johns doesn’t carry Coke products. You heard it here first.