She Hung Herself Yesterday

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Lucy Gordon, a 29-year old former model who appeared in Spider-Man 3, was found dead in her Paris apartment yesterday of an apparent suicide. Yikes. The Sun UK reports:

A spokesman for the Cannes film festival, currently underway on the French Riviera, described Miss Gordon as “a hugely promising young actress”. He said: “We are devastated by this news. All those attending the festival had been hugely impressed by Lucy’s work. She was a star in the making.” An officer who found the actress described the scene as “absolutely horrific”. He added: “This was a clear and very tragic case of suicide. There are no suspicious circumstances.” Her agent Jean-Louis Diamonika also confirmed that Miss Gordon had taken her own life.

I have absolutely no idea who this chick is, but 29 is way too young to go, so obviously she had some problems that she felt could only be solved by tying a rope around her neck and jumping off a chair. Unlike yesterday when I dropped my ice cream cone. Did I think about killing myself? Hell no. I’m stronger than that. In fact, the lady who brought me a lollipop and held me while I cried said I was such a big boy.

Note: Apparently she hanged herself, too. To be honest, I don’t think she really cares how we say it now.