Here we are, on the eve of the nocturne prior to the dawning of yon feature film knownst throughout the Nine Realms as Thor: The Dark World, in which the Dark Elf Malekith threatens all creation with the aid of his monstrous armored soldier Kurse, so dubbed as a warning to all warriors whose folly is such that they might think to stand against his might. Forsooth, have at thee!
Ahem. Yes, that Thor-talk can be contagious, but it's also fun, even if Shakespearean British makes little sense for a Norse god. The movie promises to be another epic entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, dealing with the strange, mystical nooks and crannies beyond Midgard – or Earth, as you know it – that will eventually allow us to have a Guardians of the Galaxy movie. The branches of Yggdrasil, the world tree, continue to grow and may support even further entreaties into the Marvel pantheon – somewhere down the line, we'll probably see a Squirrel Girl movie!
Before any of that, though, we'll need a Thor 3: Tokyo Drift, or Thor With A Vengeance, or Thor and the Hendersons, and there are still a lot of really cool characters in his wheelhouse that we'd like to see in that movie, be it dubbed 3 Th 3 Or or Loki: First Blood Part II. Here are ten of them that we'd recommend.
10 Characters We Want To See In 'Thor 3'
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1. SURTUR
The most likely candidate for a trilogy-ender would be Surtur, the demonic fire giant of Muspelheim whose assault on Asgard would signal the much fabled, much dreaded Ragnarok - the Norse god version of the Apocalypse. Note that although his huge magic sword is named Twilight, it is not a dracula.
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2. HELA
The Goddess of Death would not be far behind Surtur, as any apocalypse worth its salt would be chock full of dead souls to be reaped.
She is also an accidental creation of Loki's - that is, a de-aged pre-teen version of him - and in her form of a young girl named "Leah," she actually had feelings for him - feelings that eventually became eternal hatred. As is usually the case with Loki.
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3. BETA RAY BILL
Bill is a horse-faced alien from the planet Korbin who flies around in a semi-sentient ship named Skuttlebutt. Before you laugh, keep in mind that he kicked the snot out of Thor in such a badass manner that Odin decided to give him his own magic hammer, called Stormbreaker. Recently, there were hints of a potential beauty-and-the-beast kind of romance between Bill and Sif, given that Thor tends to rebuke her to cater to his mortal fetish.
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4. AMORA THE ENCHANTRESS
Another woman whose desires for Thor have been continually spurned, Amora takes it a lot more personally than Sif, since she's a goddess of renowned beauty who is not accustomed to being rejected. Hence, she employs enchantment magic and mind-manipulation, often matching deceitful wits with Loki. Her sister, Lorelei, is also a magic seductress who often tries to manipulate Thor to love her.
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5. SKURGE THE EXECUTIONER
Skurge's love for Amora was constantly exploited by her, as he and his magic double-bladed axe were often pitted against Thor. However, in order to delay the onset of Ragnarok, he took up arms - actual machine gun arms - and sacrificed his life to murder the ever-lovin' hell out of the forces of Hel, but eventually earned him redemption.
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6. VALKYRIE
Brunnhilde leads the Valkyrior of Asgard, a fleet of female warriors who shepherd the souls of the honored dead to the afterlife in Valhalla on winged horses. She's a complete badass who is currently leading a team of Defenders made up of super-women from Earth - and THAT is a concept that needs its own movie, too. You damn well better want Misty Knight in a movie.
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7. HERCULES
So we've got the Norse God pantheon all set, but what about the Greeks? They had craploads of gods, and one highly amusing demigod by the name of Herakles - known more commonly as Hercules. Marvel's version of the son of Zeus is a fan of wine, women, song, and barfights, and he has often been an ally to Thor - and he even hooked up with Black Widow! It's possible he could even bring along his reluctant super-genius buddy, Amadeus Cho.
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8. THE ABSORBING MAN
Before you have traumatic flashbacks to the end of Ang Lee's Hulk, this is not Nick Nolte. This is Carl "Crusher" Creel, a bullet-headed jailbird who was given a magic potion by Loki that granted him the ability to absorb the physical properties of anything he touched, be it water, steel, or even an entire island. So he called himself "The Absorbing Man," which admittedly sounds like he's competing with the Brawny guy to sell paper towels.
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9. THE WRECKING CREW
Karnilla The Norn Queen (honorable mention for the list) accidentally gave this motley bunch of bruisers an enchanted crowbar instead of Loki. Wrecker, Piledriver, Bulldozer, and Thunderball break the living hell out of things wherever they go. Bonus: Thunderball is actually a physicist and gamma-enthusiast, making these guys ripe for a Thor/Hulk buddy movie.
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10. THOR, FROG OF THUNDER
Loki turned Thor into a frog once, but he was still Thor. By chance, while he was a frog, he met another frog named Puddlegulp who was once a human named Simon Walterson (which is a reference to legendary Thor writer/artist Walt Simonson), and who found a sliver of Thor's hammer Mjolnir and became Throg, Frog of Thunder, defender of his fellow frogs against jerkfaced rats. This definitely needs to be in a movie.
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11. BI-BEAST*
The Bi-Beast is a robot monster with two faces on one head, who refer to each other as "Skull-Brother," and he was created by bird people to maintain their floating city, but he wasn't good at it so it got destroyed, and he's mad. He has fought Thor a few times, therefore he needs to be in a movie.
*Yes, this was a 10-list, but this is a bonus! Because he's the motherscratchin' Bi-Beast.
