15 Of Our Favorite Funny Drinking Quotes

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The only thing better than enjoying a stiff drink is hearing thought provoking or funny drinking quotes. It helps if the quote is about drinking. Some of the most famous writers, comedians and personalities have graced us with their alcohol related wisdom. Here are some of the best drinking quotes:

 Funny Drinking Quotes

  1. “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” – Dylan Thomas
  2. “A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” ― Winston S. Churchill
  3. “When dealing with complex transportation issues, the best thing to do is pull up with a cold beer and let somebody else figure it out.” – Anthony Bourdain
  4. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
  5. “And do you really know what Vodka is like? Jesus! It’s just straight alcohol, and they drink it by the tumbler full. Really, some scientists should investigate how it is possible for man to drink such stuff in such huge quantities.” – Kurt Vonnegut
  6. “My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey.” – William Faulkner
  7. “My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.” – Rodney Dangerfield
  8. “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra
  9. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”- Dave Barry
  10. “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” – Jack Handey
  11. “Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.” – Ernest Hemingway
  12. “A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.” – W. C. Fields
  13. “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.?” – George Bernard Shaw
  14. “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” – Steven Wright
  15. “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” – W.C. Fields

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