Mandatory Staycation: 10 Fantastic Reasons Why Staying at Home Is Better Than an Actual Vacation
Sure, traveling the world looks exciting and broadens your horizons in ways you can never replicate. And it may feed your soul with the sights and sounds of new people and experiences, creating memories that will probably last a lifetime. But there’s a whole lot about it that’s a pain in the ass too. So next time you’ve got a few days off and decide to plan yourself a trip, remember these 10 fantastic reasons why leaving the house is overrated. We promise you won’t feel any regrets about locking the front door, unplugging your phone, and strapping yourself in for the ultimate staycation.
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No Jet Lag
Life is too short to feel like shit in another time zone. And we all know how cranky you get when you don't get a solid eight hours of sleep.
It's Way Cheaper
Why blow through your savings? You could stay at home and use the money you save not traveling to buy yourself a new TV, get a massage, invest in a burrito startup and so much more. What's so great about the Parthenon anyway?
The Food Is Guaranteed to Be Good
Because you already know all your favorite spots that deliver, you can eat exactly what you want without any fear of food poisoning, stomach bugs, and general grossness. Learn to make pizza, Thailand!
There's Very Little Packing Involved
Also, very little planning. You can just wing it for a few days and everything will be fine. Who knows, you may even stop a burglary.
No Breaking Up Over Whose Fault This Is
We can't tell you how many girlfriends we've broken up with in front of the Eiffel Tower, but we can tell you that it was somehow always our fault. Save your relationship and just sleep in for the week.
You Probably Won't Injure Yourself in a Freak Accident
The unknown factors involved in any trip can put your life in peril. From inclement weather to adventurous excursions that you talk yourself into doing, danger awaits at every turn. Take it from us, you're a lot safer holing up in your one-bedroom apartment and rewatching all of Frasier. Probably.
You Can Smoke Weed With Your Dog
Suddenly a lot of countries are less cool about getting high than 'Murica. Not that other countries have gotten more uptight. We've just gotten way cooler about it. Which is great. Now that you can freely burn one down at home, you've got your sweet stash, your gorgeous paraphernalia, and your dog Rex who happens to be the absolute best. What more could you want?
No Missed Connections
Trying to catch flights, trains, buses, and taxis is a headache you don't need in your life. Why not stay at home in your favorite chair where you'll have no trouble catching all the zzz's?
Your Neighbors Are Already Used to Your Loud Weeping
Although some Italians might understand your pain, the world at large will be made uncomfortable in your presence.
You Get to Sleep in Your Own Bed
There's nothing like coming home from a long journey, taking a bath, and curling up in your very own bed. It's the best feeling in the world. Don't be a Dorothy and go gallivanting around Oz. Everything you need is already right here in your own home, you ungrateful lumpsucker.