Photo: dolgachov (Getty)
How much do you know about your lady’s lady parts? Be honest. Not much, right? Sure, you’ve seen enough porn to drown your mother in her own tears and flunked biology 15 or so years ago, but how much do you really know? Don’t feel down, most men don’t know enough, but luckily there are these ultra-hip adult sex-ed classes, mythbusters for men who need a clue about women (and their crazy bodies).
Cycles + Sex is a new movement of forward-thinking adult sex-ed lectures. Like TED Talks for the boys whose high school gym coaches didn’t get past the awkward story of the banana and the condom. The series of speakers includes a lineup of highly qualified “sexperts” who will touch on (so to speak) pertinent and taboo topics meant to bust sex myths, map out sexual landmines and unlock keys to the mythical orgasm in all spoken and unspoken territories (i.e. the ass and other places we like to stick our peckers).
All the things you were afraid to ask your girlfriend, wife, mistress and/or mother about the female anatomy, girls’ cooties, raging hormones, period sex, shower sex, stoner sex, spanking, anal poppers, birth control, fertility, the many uses of coconut oil, sacrilegious near-impossible positions, butt plugs, feminine hygiene products and where to flush them, as well as the whereabouts of the mythical clitoris are all on the table.
Below is a list of scheduled talks, essentially The Birds & The Bees for Men, with notes on what to expect from each. Check out this sex education movement, starting Saturday, Nov. 4 in downtown Los Angeles at The Springs from 11 a.m. until 7 as we pop open our pleasure chests, decolonize gender and set our pussies free! We’ll save you a seat. Don’t forget to bring your lube.
These Hip Adult Sex-Ed Classes Are Mythbusters For Men Who Need A Clue About Women (And Their Crazy Bodies)
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Cycles & Sex
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Everything Goes: Busting Taboos (Period Sex)
Photo: via Janelle Jones
A lot of the focus of these workshops goes into breaking down myths, barriers and censorship of sex talk. While many fear that which they do not know much about (i.e. period sex), there's plenty of room for learning and expanding beyond the surface of our high school biology books without crushing our fragile psyches.
A quick 40-minute lecture taught by six or more sexperts ought to get us diving deep into the female anatomy.
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Closing the Orgasm Gap
Between this, O-M-G-Spot: Unlocking the Elusive All-Over Orgasm, and Ultimate O: Understanding Your Pleasure Map, we imagine the distance between men who think they're pleasuring their women and men who are actually pleasuring their women will shrink greatly.
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Painful Sex: WTF Do I Do?
Stephanie Sarley says it best with her provocative produce Instagrams, but this unspoken tension (both physical and mental) can be cured with a bit of simple communication. Here you'll find tips for what to do when things get dry, aged or possibly past their expiration date.
All this before the big finale lecture, Set Your Pussy Free, a personal favorite just by title alone.
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Suck It, Lick It, Love It: Tips for Giving and Receiving Oral
Photo: via Eva Zar
This title, along with Deep Throating Hacks, has us all aroused. Would we join our girlfriends for this lecture, even if it involves staring at dicks that aren't ours?
Absolutely, it's not like the World Series is on during Fantasy Football season or anything.
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Spanking Stations & Booty Basics
If you're an Ass Man like us (and Cosmo Kramer), you'll appreciate a station dedicated for the art of spanking, along with a lecture on "discovering the joys of anal play." And our girlfriends made it sound like this day would be torture. Joke's on them.
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Kegel Balls Demos
Photo: via Stephanie Sarley
If you've never seen a demo like this, now you have to. And just a heads up, these are not edible.
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Ugh, What Are (Our) Birth Control Options?
Photo: via Stephanie Sarley
There are lots of misconceptions when it comes to birth control, like for instance that it's all the woman's responsibility.
Gentlemen, there's nothing hotter to a woman than going deep on birth control talk with your lady, taking an interest in her body when outside of sex and sexting, and we're guessing you have a lot to learn.
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Fertility for Everyone
Photo: via Eva Zar
Everything in life has a balancing counterpart. Odds are, gents, if your lady lets you go to the joys-of-anal lectures, you're going to have to put your feet down and learn about fertility for a bit.
It's actually interesting stuff and is particular helpful if you both despise children.
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Politics in Our Privates
Where your woman gets her birth control, how much it's costing her thanks to our egregious government overhaul and just how much a pussy grabber can affect your woman's (and yours) choices down the road are just a couple of things you can expect to hear about herein. Spoiler alert: Our President is a real dickhead.