Summer Gadgets to Keep You Cool

Everyone is trying to find ways to keep cool in the summer, some more than others. With so many beach parties to attend and get thrown out of, beer getting warm too quickly and constant sweating, we have to turn to summer technology and its gadgets to keep ourselves cool and in style. Lest we meet the swamp ass monster.

Krups/Heineken Beertender ($99)
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Finally, a machine we can use! Krups has taken their modern coffee making technology and combined it with Heineken’s old fashioned get-me-drunk fundamentals and made the modern keg cooler that not only makes drinking easy, it makes it summertime fresh. Icy cold, just the way summer beer was meant to be enjoyed.

Aros Smart Air Conditioner ($279)
Summer Gadgets, Living
Just like one of our favorite innovative gadgets, Nest, Quirky has come up with the smart air conditioner that connects wirelessly to your smartphone, giving you the BlueTooth remote you need to change the temperature at home. It also keeps track of your location, weather, budget and schedule to keep you just the right kind of cool all the time. No more sweating like a pig in your own living room, finally.

Corkcicle Wine Chiller ($15)
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Why does everything have to be about drinking? Because it’s summer; that’s why! Corkcicle is the answer to our prayers, as it keeps your white wines cool on hot summer days. It’s simple: it keeps your drink from getting warm or watered down. No more ice cubes in your drink, son. And if you don’t know jack from shit when it comes to vino, step into our simple wine guide, just what the wino-in-training needs.

Coolmate Nano Mister Portable Fan( $69)
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This looks like something a couple drunk people would normally try to jimmy-rig together, but we promise you Coolmate is sophisticated with its Nano Mister fan. The portable fan sets conveniently wherever you please and delivers the lovely mist you usually only find at nice restaurants at multiple angles. Now you have one at home that doesn’t use too much water, and you never have to go anywhere again.

Tovolo Cocktail Ice Molds ($13)
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Oh, ice! Why didn’t I think of that! Well, Dickie, it’s not just any old ice tray. Tovolo makes an ice mold sculpted to perfection at 2.5 inches for a slow melt, no watery-cool-down of your favorite whiskey or scotch. It helps bring out the flavor, step up the class and simply, it’s one of those things every guy should have.

Dyson’s Desk Fan ($249)
Summer Gadgets, Living
“I can’t work in this goddamn heat!” you might scream at your computer a couple hundred times over the next few months while refusing to turn on the noisy fan so you can get your work done. Dyson’s desk fan will fix both problems by offering its quiet, lower power fan that not only keeps the noise to an ant’s whisper — no propeller wings — but uses a fraction of the power to keep you cool at a low cost.

Coolware Personal Cooling System ($39)
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Taking the age old remedy of placing a cool rag on your forehead, Coolware went all tech and created a personal cooling device that fits around your neck. It’s consistent with its cooling and doesn’t leave a mess. So the next time you’re hot, have a fever or can’t stop vomiting up the bad sushi you shoveled down the night before, Coolware is the cool, lightweight, battery-powered thing to wear. You’ll look like an idiot, but you’ll be the more relaxed beach bum in the sun this summer.

Wave Pool Trampoline ($1195)
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When we read about it, we knew we had to try it. It might cost a small fortune, but the fun you’ll have jumping and splashing at the same time will not only cool you off, it’ll change your perspective about jumping and splashing at the same time. Throw in a couple beers and nothing can go wrong here. This kind of fun will last you all summer, or at least until someone slips and breaks their neck.

Sunburn Alert UV Bands ($6)
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If you want to avoid looking like a lobster this summer, you’ll put on a bit of sunscreen to keep big yellow from bringing you down. Sunburn bands change color when your body needs you to reapply sunblock, keeping you from browning out face first into the sand where your body will roast like a piggy on the Fourth of July. Party like a grown man, stay hydrated, reapply and quick taking Jell-O shots from girls you don’t know!

Gel’O Cool Pillow Mat ($35)
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It seems old fashioned, but this pillow mat keeps you cool on hot summer nights with its odorless gel pack, which is not only comfy but doesn’t make a leaky mess, unlike the person sleeping next to you. Place it inside the pillow case to chill your body, either behind your neck, under your legs or wherever the hell you want it. It could make for some cool summer pillow fights, too.