10 Serious Facts About Pooping
I’ve dabbled in my fair share of fart and poop jokes but the expulsion of feces is no laughing matter. (Deep breath. OK.) It’s not. We all poop a little bit differently – form, frequency and size, and there’s quite a bit our poop can tell us about each of us. Let’s explore all of that, including squatting, which, as it turns out, is a much healthier way of doing business. What’s the worst that can happen, besides a smear all over the floor?
You’re doing it wrong: Squatting over the can makes for a quicker, more effortless session than sitting
Put simply, humans are not designed to drop bombs from a seated position. Sitting atop porcelain thrones constricts a muscle that keeps the waste in our bodies, while squatting relaxes it, making the process easier.
Do you sometimes strain on the toilet, pushing for dear life as if you’re giving birth to poo babies? You may want to try squatting over the toilet next time. You don’t necessarily have to squat like a ninja warrior in waiting; a squat on your feet will ease the elimination process, though not quite as effectively. To squat, just pretend you’re inside a horrific gas station bathroom and will contract a disease if your buttocks touch the seat. Speaking of diseases …
Our modern method of seated pooping contributes to (or causes) colon and pelvic diseases
The cavemen and our 19th-century predecessors had it right. Westernized, seated-pooping countries suffer higher rates of colon and pelvic ailments like hemorrhoids, constipation and diverticulitis (feces trapped in colon), to name a few. Squatters experience less straining and stagnation, which causes some of the unpleasantries downstairs.
The word “poop”
It comes from the Middle English word “poupen” – meaning to blow a horn or toot, i.e., to fart. “Yeah I’ll be back in 5, Jim, I’ve got to go poupen.”
It’s not just you – poop universally smells bad
Bacteria residing inside our bodies cause poop’s odorous smell. They produce stinky, sulfurous compounds, the same stuff that causes room-clearing farts. The bacteria aren’t problematic, mind you, however if your poop smells really bad, it could indicate a parasite called giardia in the stomach, which causes an infection and particularly foul-smelling farts and poops. But the person will suffer other symptoms like fatigue, stomach cramping and headaches, so you shouldn’t have to use smell alone to determine an illness.
Poop is brown because of iron-filled red blood cells in the intestines
Basically, healthy poops are colored brown from a pigment that results from the breakdown of red blood cells in the intestines. They effectively rust over, and the browner the better. Ever spot a green goblin in the can? That’s okay, too – it means you’ve eaten a lot of irony foods like spinach, other leafy greens, beans or red meat. It could also mean you’ve eat some foods with green food coloring. Note: You should know better than to eat green Jello.
Poop is composed of 75% water
The rest of it is bacteria – dead and living – protein, fiber (indigestible food like cellulose), cells, fats, salts, mucous. The fiber is important because it adds bulk to the poop, basically acting as a lead blocker, helping to move it through the intestines.
The average male produces about 360 pounds of poop a year
That figure is based on an 180-pound guy, as each person creates about one ounce of poop a day for every 12 ounces of body weight, for roughly one pound a day. That’s about two copies of you (in poop form) or one Giants DT Shaun Rogers (350 lbs).
Some poops float because they contain a lot of gas
Also known as “floaters,” they have a lower density than water, caused by a high gas content. This may happen when bacteria in the body doesn’t get expelled as a gas bubble, and takes lodging inside the feces.
The scent of books may cause some to feel the need people to poop
It’s called the “Mariko Aoki phenomenon,” the urge to poop when visiting a bookstore, a hypothesis suggested by a Japanese woman in the 1980s who described experiencing the urge in a bookstore, which many readers confirmed. The power of suggestion? The coincidence of drinking coffee (a laxative) in a bookstore? It’s a topic for further exploration, perhaps a strain on Barnes & Noble’s bathroom supplies, which can’t be helping the company’s bottom line. Pun was NOT intended.
Sloths poop only about once a week during what looks a tree-hugging dance adventure
How else would you describe this? Warning: cute.