Put Those Away, Mom

Look at these pictures of Kim Kardashian. Or you can realize they’re basically every picture of Kim Kardashian that you’ve ever seen, because if she’s not drawing attention to her rack or ass, then you’d have to look at her face and her dead, soulless eyes and maybe wait for her to say something remotely interesting or profound. She’s a brown, sentient blow up doll with readily available orifices that Kris Jenner and Kanye West and every media outlet desperate for traffic can’t wait to fill  as long as she gets the money up front. In twenty years she’ll still be wearing the same shit and talking into her magic mirror. Prepare yourself. America.