Miley Cyrus Hates Jennifer Lawrence

 Two years ago, Miley Cyrus was a white, Disney pop princess who sang songs about achieving your goals by climbing and hearing your favorite song while you’re in a taxi. Then as soon as her contract was up, she was allowed to hang around black people for the first time, so she co-opted what she thought was black culture and became infused with the power of ratchet then started writing songs about dropping molly, being drunk in da club. She also started twerking even though she doesn’t have an ass and pretending to blow backup dancers in giant bear suits. Her fiance at the time, Liam Hemsworth, was a not a fan, so he dumped her and started banging this (good lawd) like two weeks later. Liam Hemsworth is also pretty great friends with Jennifer Lawrence, and when her nude photos leaked, Miley proved she really isn’t about girl power. Bitches be jealous!

 “After Miley heard about and looked at Jennifer nude leaks, she texted Liam,” a source told EXCLUSIVELY. “One of the issues that had broken them up was Liam thinking that Miley wasn’t acting respectably and was putting too much of herself out there wearing skin-baring clothes. She texted him a few times, including a message that said, “Your buddy’s pics just came out and she showed so much more of her body than I ever have” and “I don’t think that’s classy taking racy photos like that.” Liam was never a fan of Miley’s over-the-top and revealing looks. Everyone remembers the 2013 MTV VMAs when she twerked on stage, right? Miley used Jennifer’s photos as opportunity to get back at him for basically dissing her sexiness. Plus, he’s really close with his Hunger Games co-star, so that would just twist the knife in further. “She wanted to really get back at Liam for having been so hard on her and her sexiness,” our source continued. “She considered it a victory.”

Women logic is pretty great, especially when you consider that Jennifer Lawrence got naked for her boyfriend at the time in pictures that were never supposed to see the light of day unless Nicolas Hault happened to be  masturbating during the day. Miley Cyrus wore this last week. And this what her tour looks like. And she posts stuff like this on Instagram. And does this in magazines. So Liam and the rest of us should really listen to her when she gives her thoughts on what’s classy. She’s from Tennessee, so maybe she doesn’t know what that word means. I hear their dictionaries have pictures of Jesus building a border wall with bodies of dead gay guys.