While the rest of the world was projectile vomiting at their screen during Miley Cyrus' performance during the MTV VMAs where we saw what having high self-esteem, no ass, and a tongue coach can trick people into thinking their sexy, Billy Ray Cyrus was writing and rewriting this statement he gave to ET.
"Of course I'll always be here for Miley. Can't wait to see her when she gets home," Billy Ray told ET's Nancy O'Dell exclusively. "She's still my little girl and I'm still her Dad regardless how this circus we call show business plays out. I love her unconditionally and that will never change."
Translation: "Bro, I wore acid washed skinny jeans and had a mullet like 20 years ago when I invented the white Electric Slide. I gotta ride this thing out, man. My son looks like Kat Von Disappointment, so I need somebody to pay the mortgage. And this pays better than her getting a job at a black strip club. She'd probably have to work during the day there anyway, and that's when most of the banks are open."
Miley Cyrus 2013 MTV VMAs
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Theo Wargo/WireImage)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Theo Wargo/WireImage)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Theo Wargo/WireImage)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Theo Wargo/WireImage)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jemal Countess/FilmMagic)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic for MTV)
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: Ryan/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: Ryan/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: Ryan/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: Ryan/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: Brooklyn, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: WENN.com **Not available for publication in Germany**
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: Brooklyn, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: WENN.com **Not available for publication in Germany**
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: Brooklyn, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: WENN.com **Not available for publication in Germany**
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: Brooklyn, NY, United States When: 26 Aug 2013 Credit: WENN.com **Not available for publication in Germany**
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York City, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: TRY CW/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York City, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: TRY CW/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York City, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: TRY CW/WENN.com
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Miley Cyrus performs during the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
Featuring: Miley Cyrus Where: New York City, NY, United States When: 25 Aug 2013 Credit: TRY CW/WENN.com
