BREAKING: Jennifer Aniston Is Still A Huge Bitch

Xbox One 5.21.2013

Jennifer Aniston is supposedly a huge A-list star, yet she’s been in 24 movies and only 7 have grossed over $100M. Her highest grossing film, Bruce Almighty, starred Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, and Steve Carrell. My cat could have played Jennifer Aniston’s part and it still would have made $242 million. Her second, Marley & Me ($160,499,700), was about a dog. Kids love dogs. And parents will take their kids to see movies about dogs. Her highest grossing film, in which she was the actual star, The Bounty Hunter, made under $70 million and has a 22% score on Metacritic. And Rogert Ebert gave it a half star out of 4. So keep all this in mind when you read about how Aniston is acting on the set of her new movie. Radar Online reports:

“Every day at lunch the entire cast and crew head to a cafeteria facility where they all sit down and eat lunch together for well over an hour,” the insider exclusively told “But the only person who doesn’t eat with everyone else is Jen. She quickly grabs a lunch to go and leaves.” The source also claims Jen, 44, has fancier transportation than everyone else — as well as a trailer that is much farther away from the set than anybody else’s. “All the actors ride in normal production vans when they head to lunch, but Jen has her own luxury SUV,” the source said. “And not only is Jen’s private trailer miles away from the set, but she heads all the way back there each day to eat her lunch away from everyone else.”

Also keep in mind that Tim Robbins is also in this movie. Tim Robbins, the multiple Oscar winner. But Jennifer Aniston was in an Adam Sandler movie once, so fuck eating with everybody else. What is she, a migrant worker?