Rihanna was in Hawaii this weekend and photographers took her picture smoking a blunt. They say it’s weed, but I really don’t think it is, because she doesn’t seem to have supersonic hearing which would have allowed her to have heard the paparazzi then flee in a panic into the house and close all the blinds and paced around the living room for 30 minutes and wondered if she wore those same leggings yesterday. I bet I did. Everybody is looking at me. I can hear helicopters. I bet the microwave has a hidden camera in it. I just need to sit down and relax. No I need to take a shower. Why did I come in this room again? Spaghetti and corndogs mmm that sounds good together. Why don’t more people eat this? I think the soy sauce pulls it all together, I should write this recipe down before I forget because where’s a pen? Why can’t I find a pen here’s the remote and Ancient Aliens is on and holy shit aliens built everything. They live among us fuck I’m high.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
