Congratulations are in order for Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, who welcomed their first child — a boy! — together on Tuesday. According to Spanish newspaper El Pais, the infant was born at Cedars Sinai Hospital in L.A.; Spanish magazine Hola broke news of the baby’s gender. Hola also reports that members of the couple’s family flew in from Spain for the birth: Cruz’s mother, brother and sister, plus Bardem’s mother.
Wow. I didn’t even know Penelope Cruz was pregnant. But I guess I should have assumed. Because you can’t outfuck Mexicans. You just can’t. If they had a Mexican Teen Mom, their audition lines would look like American Idol.
Note: Yes, I am fully aware that they are Spanish. And yes, I am fully aware that I said they are Mexican. But please keep in mind that I don’t care. Thanks!