Lindsay Lohan Is Unemployed

In the latest installment of “Shit We All Saw Coming,” Lindsay Lohan has been fired from Linda Lovelace biopic Inferno. According to E! Online:

Despite previous assurances that the production was ready and waiting for Lindsay Lohan, Inferno director Matthew Wilder exclusively tells E! News that his Linda Lovelace biopic is moving on without the troubled star.

“We are withdrawing our offer from Lindsay Lohan,” Wilder says. “We are currently in negotiations [with another actress] and working out the legalities of bringing her onboard.”

“We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support,” Wilding says. “Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her—and some other issues—have made it impossible for us to go forward.”

What a surprise! I really love surprises. Like last night when I passed out and woke up to this guy trying to pull my dress up. I was gonna cry rape, but he told me to be quiet or I would ruin the surprise party for my vagina. I’m a woman, and I like surprises, so I went back to sleep. Plus he had balloons. Everyone loves balloons!

Lindsay’s rumored replacement is Sarah Scott, better known as “this chick.”


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