Tony Parker Cheated On This. How Could He?

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The people who didn’t remember Eva Longoria was alive yesterday, yawned with bored indifference when they heard the news that she was divorcing her husband of three years. Hopefully a sordid tale involving an unlimited data plan will pique their interest! Unlimited, I say! Us Magazine reports:

Eva Longoria Parker and Tony Parker have split after three years of marriage, Us Weekly reveals in its newest issue, on stands Wednesday. Multiple sources tell Us Weekly that Longoria Parker, 35, recently discovered that her husband, 28, has been exchanging personal texts with a mutual female friend for nearly a year — hundreds in just one month. She plans to file for divorce soon, sources tell Us. “Eva is heartbroken by the betrayal,” says one insider, adding that her husband confessed to the inappropriateness – which took place for nearly a year – after she confronted him. Adds another friend, “Once the trust was lost, the marriage was over.”

Hundreds! Did you hear that?! Hundreds! Whatever. I’m already bored. If Tony Parker was married to Evan Longoria then this story might be more interesting. Because they would be gay, you see. And two gay athletes in a divorc..wait, I’m bored again. Oh well. Moving along.

UPDATE: Eva now wants spousal support. She denied the divorce rumors yesterday, you know, because the new “exclusive” US Weeklyhadn’t came out yet accusing Tony of cheating. It’s hard playing the helpless victim when TMZ scoops your ass and screws up your well orchestrated plan.