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Vern Troyer got wasted for his 40th Birthday, then put on a sailor hat and rode his buddy around. [TMZ] Dunken Vern will answer your questions this Sunday. Comment it up, people.
Meryl Streep is Julia Child, which might be confusing because one is dead and the other was in Mama Mia, a movie that made me wish I was dead.[Just Jared]
The Kardashian Sisters all looked the same on New Years Eve, which was great news for fugly Khloe, and a horrible down-grade for Kim. [Bastardly]
Kathy Griffin won’t come to where you work and knock the dicks out of your mouth. And she said that standing next to Anderson Cooper. [DListed]
Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are so boring, they probably went to a Farmer’s Market every weekend this year. This is where the punchline would be if that was a joke. [Socialite’s Life]
Kate Bosworth gets the honor of first nipple-pics of 2009. Congratulations. Now don’t make another Superman movie, because you helped it suck. [Egotastic]
I finally found something scarier than clowns: celebrity clowns. [City Rag]