We know, we know, summer is still in full swing and you don’t even want to THINK about going back to school. But whose fault is that? Yours, obviously, for going to one those fusty old “real” colleges when you could have applied to these fictional movie colleges instead. When a real college just won’t do, you can just make up your own with all the fake majors, zombies and super shoes you want. It beats city college anyway. If the zombies don’t get you.
So rethink your life choices with this list of fake movie colleges that make your real educational experience look like crap. Don’t be sad. You can’t go to any of these movie colleges, but you can always rent them.
Slideshow: The Top 11 Movie Colleges
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and the host of The B-Movies Podcast and The Blue Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
The Top 11 Movie Colleges
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11. Huxley College
From: Horse Feathers (1932) Huxley College looks like a damned fun place to go to school. The president, Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff, is a charismatic wordsmith whose efforts to improve the football team include making up the rules and hiring one ringer after another. You'd have an awful lot of fun if you went there, but we're not entirely sure you'd actually learn anything. -
10. Miskatonic University
From: Re-Animator (1985) This venerable Rhode Island institution is a world leader in scientific research, archaeological studies and psychological studies of madness, but there's a decent chance you'll die, get resurrected as a zombie, confront an ancient evil, and go completely insane. So it loses a few points. -
9. South Harmon Institute of Technology
From: Accepted (2006) Didn't get into the college of your choice? Or any other college either? Just apply to the South Harmon Institute of Technology, founded by students in your exact same situation, with curricula developed by the students themselves. You can major in psychokinesis and girl-watching, but then again you may not be able to finish your degree. S.H.I.T. never technically existed, and only got a one-year probationary accreditation by the end of the film. We'd be shocked if it's still standing. -
8. Port Chester University
From: PCU (1994) The student body at Port Chester University can be a real headache - they're so politically correct they're on the verge of revolution - but the best thing about the college from PCU is "you can major in GameBoy if you know how to bullshit." One of the students is even writing a thesis on the Caine/Hackman Theory, which argues that at any point in time, either a Michael Caine or a Gene Hackman movie is on TV. So it's basically the university from Accepted, except you'll get a real degree. -
7. Barden University
From: Pitch Perfect (2012) Extracurricular studies are the biggest selling point of Barden University, a college where a capella singing groups reign supreme. We're not even sure they have a football team, they're too busy performing all-vocal mash-ups of Jessie J and Simple Minds. Ah... priorities. -
6. Monsters University
From: Monsters University (2013) Anyone can be a monster, but to be really, truly scary you need a degree. Monsters University really is the place to go (with Fear Tech as a backup, just in case), with some of the most important scarers in history teaching classes in creepiness. -
5. Harris University
From: House Party 2 (1992) Social consciousness is on the curriculum at Harris University... and also a raging pajama jam, but that's extra credit at best. Harris University boasts at least one great party but the staff are more interested in teaching responsibility and soul-searching black history. Where else can you learn how to score with the ladies and the importance of Marcus Garvey on the same day? -
4. Barnett College
From: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) Few movie colleges boast a better teaching staff than Barnett College, where Professor Henry Jones, Jr. teaches archaeology to an enthralled student body when he isn't taking extended sabbaticals to raid tombs, fight Nazis and invade kingdoms of crystal skulls. Presumably the entomology professors also fight giant ants and the paleontology department goes back in time on a regular basis. -
3. Medfield College
From: The Absent-Minded Professor (1961) Hail to thee, Medfield College, where the professors are a little absent-minded but the experiments are always a rousing success. At Medfield College the wondrous super-substance Flubber turn the basketball team into anti-gravity all-stars, computers wear tennis shoes and the law is regularly enforced by shaggy dogs. It's one of Disney's most frequently used movie locations, and obviously one heck of a school. -
2. Pacific Tech
From: Real Genius (1985) Pacific Tech is the school of choice for young super-geniuses across the country, inventing powerful lasers, turning the hallways into a skating rink and hiding secret super lairs in unassuming closet spaces. Where else can you ponder the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?" -
1. Starfleet Academy
From: Star Trek (2009) Half military academy, half school for higher learning, Starfleet Academy is the most prestigious school in the universe, training humans and aliens alike in science, humanities, alienities, and how to become captain of a starship before you even graduate. Best. College. Ever.
