So, in the first part of this article, I gave you 3 good reasons why opening with “Can I buy you a drink” is a very bad idea. Now I’m going to give you an alternative opener, and show you a way to get her to buy you a drink without being a douche-bag or creepy.
First, a quick bit of insight: When we go out to a bar or club with our buddies, what’s our main goal? Right. Meet women and try to hook up. When women go out to bars and clubs with their girlfriends, what’s their main goal? Meet some random and wake up on his couch? No. Her priority is to have fun. Have a good time. Be entertained. Sure hook ups are possible, but they’re not usually her first priority.
So you see the immediate disconnect? You want to get laid. She wants to have a good time. Different goals. It’s one of the reasons offering to buy her a drink triggers her defenses. She knows instantly you’re just trying to get in her pants.
But there is a way to have a drink with her—and even get her to buy it. It starts with letting her know you want to be a part of her good time, not some bro who wants a quick hook up.
Let me throw a stat at you: According to a recent survey by New Amsterdam Spirits, 70% of women surveyed said they found it sexy when a man suggests a cocktail for her to try. And 78% said it was hot when a guy can mix a great cocktail from scratch, without having to look at a recipe or ask the bartender what’s in it.
Think maybe we can use that information? Absolutely.
Try this: Find a great cocktail recipe. Something unique, that’s off the usual drink menu. But nothing so complex that it requires ingredients most bars won’t have. Memorize it. Practice mixing it. Ask women you know to give it a taste. Get their opinion. When you find a great cocktail that women like, and you can mix it from memory, you’ve got all the ammo you need.
The next time you’re in a bar and see a girl you want to meet, walk over. If she’s already got a drink, you can open with something like: “Hey I just wanted to see what that is you’re drinking… Is that a Fuzzy Navel? What is this, spring break 1992?” Then tell her she needs to expand her drinking experiences… and you have an amazing cocktail that she needs to try. If she’s not drinking yet, tell her she’s in luck, you’ve got the perfect drink for her to try.
Make it a game. Tell her you’ll order 2 of them. And if you’re right and the drink is better than what she was drinking, she has to buy the round. If it’s not, you’ll buy.
Does it matter if she likes it better or not? Nah. Either way, you’re in conversation, you’re part of her good time, and you’re the guy who turned her on to an amazing new drink and showed her how different you are from the rest of the chuckleheads who thought sending over a beer was a smooth move. That’s the whole point, right? (Plus, if that survey is right, you’ve got a better than 75% chance she’ll dig it.)
One last thing… keep in mind that offering to buy her a drink as an opener is a bad idea… But if you’re already in conversation and things are going well and her glass runs dry? That’s the time you can step up and be a gentleman.
