Disney Threatens Humanity With It’s a Small World: The Movie

Disney turned Pirates of the Caribbean into a movie. It seemed like a dumb idea, but for one movie (at least) it totally worked. So naturally they started turning all their other rides into hit movies like The Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears and… okay, maybe Pirates of the Caribbean was a fluke. And we’re pretty sure It’s a Small World isn’t going to be the film that turns their fortunes around.

Yes, It’s a Small World is going to be turned into a feature film directed by National Treasure‘s Jon Turteltaub, according to the latest report from Deadline. The film – whose plot is unknown but will presumably involve either a mad terrorist plot to shrink the planet or, conversely, a deliriously trite message about togetherness – is being written by Jared Stern, whose credits include such instantly forgotten comedies as The WatchThe Internship and Mr. Popper’s Penguins. (And also, in all fairness, “additional story material” for such well received Disney Animation films as Wreck-It Ralph and The Princess and the Frog.)

The news came on the 50th Anniversary of the It’s a Small World ride’s debut at Disneyland, but beyond that we have absolutely no idea why Disney thinks this is a good idea. Does anyone actually get excited about It’s a Small World when they’re at Disneyland? Why are they making THIS movie instead of a high-speed train heist thriller called Thunder Mountain, or a feature-length Captain Eo prequel starring Adam G. Sevani? These are the films we actually want to see, Disney, if only because they aren’t based on rides that feature one of the most annoying songs of all time.


William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.

TRENDING


X