From the mind of author Mary Shelley, we were introduced to the diabolical Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his grotesque creature which featured a mishmash of parts from many different bodies to create a super human of unimaginable power. Today, with the NBA All-Star weekend in sight and its fan favorite feature event, the Sprite Slam Dunk competition (Saturday, February 15, on TNT) to be held, let's take a page from the literal book of Shelley and do some creating of our own.
Let's create the ultimate slamma jamma, throw it in your face from a 360-degree reverse quadruple somersault, slam dunk champion. A champion so fierce, so skilled, so powerful that the sheer awesomeness of it will pop the top of a Sprite from 100 yards away.
To create this human bucket seeking missile, I will go one different from Shelley in that it's not body parts I will be hunting for, but attributes. Specifically, we will be searching out the best of the five main attributes needed to excel in a dunk contest. To find them, I will of course delve through the best of the best, former dunk champions.
So step back as I don my white lab coat, slick up my hair into a wild style and emit a mad cackle because there is work to be done and the lightning is on the horizon.
Now, with our monster equipped with everything needed to become legend, I only lack the one thing that is hindering me from completing this task. That's the ability to do so.
James LeBeau is an avid fantasy sports participant and a sports contributor for CraveOnline Sports. You can follow him on twitter @LoboISbroke or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.
A sports enthusiast who has been known to alienate friends and family with his love of balls, James LeBeau turned to sports writing because his therapist considered it a good form of using his normally useless knowledge for the benefit of those with similar conditions. He lives in southeast Ohio with his wife, three kids, and varying number of cats who mistake his shoes for litter pans...sigh.�