NBA All-Star Weekend: The Frankenstein Dunker

From the mind of author Mary Shelley, we were introduced to the diabolical Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his grotesque creature which featured a mishmash of parts from many different bodies to create a super human of unimaginable power. Today, with the NBA All-Star weekend in sight and its fan favorite feature event, the Sprite Slam Dunk competition (Saturday, February 15, on TNT) to be held, let's take a page from the literal book of Shelley and do some creating of our own.

Let's create the ultimate slamma jamma, throw it in your face from a 360-degree reverse quadruple somersault, slam dunk champion. A champion so fierce, so skilled, so powerful that the sheer awesomeness of it will pop the top of a Sprite from 100 yards away.

To create this human bucket seeking missile, I will go one different from Shelley in that it's not body parts I will be hunting for, but attributes. Specifically, we will be searching out the best of the five main attributes needed to excel in a dunk contest. To find them, I will of course delve through the best of the best, former dunk champions.

So step back as I don my white lab coat, slick up my hair into a wild style and emit a mad cackle because there is work to be done and the lightning is on the horizon.

 

Now, with our monster equipped with everything needed to become legend, I only lack the one thing that is hindering me from completing this task. That's the ability to do so.

James LeBeau is an avid fantasy sports participant and a sports contributor for CraveOnline Sports. You can follow him on twitter @LoboISbroke or “like” CraveOnline Sports on Facebook.

Photo Credit: Getty